I am going through a difficult time and really need advice. I am 44 and have been married for 18 years. I don’t feel the same about my husband as I used to. I don’t want to hurt my husband because I care for him, but I really want more from life than we have now and I’m not attracted to him like I once was. My husband and I have been really trying to make things better but I just don’t feel like my heart is in it. I feel like I have changed so much and the new me just isn’t as much as a fit with him as the old. He feels more like a father then a partner.
I have also developed an attraction to a male friend which I know doesn’t help matters.
When one person makes major changes in their life it causes a shift in every relationship they have. The old patterns don’t work any more.
If you really want to make a go of your marriage I would suggest marriage counselling for one or both of you. Sometimes talking to an unbiased professional can give you much needed clarity on what action you need to take. As you say, your heart isn’t in it. That says it all. You want an equal partner now, not an authority figure.